Didn't you know the Unspoken Rule?

It was brought to my attention through one of my friends that there is a need for the simple things in life book. Why is is that we don't have more instruction booklets for things and why if the rules are unspoken are we expected to know them and live by them and worse judged for knowing them and then choosing to do something different?

In my effort to find out a little more information about what's really going on with these unspoken rules I decided to consult the North American icon of Emily Post, queen of etiquette, who evidently has a website emilypost.com which gives guidelines for everyday situations, and many other scenarios as well. I checked it out, wow seriously, there are a lot of rules, err suggestions.

I see something that sparks my attention.... "85 percent of people are EAGER to judge a host on the comfort and cleanliness of their bathroom" Really? Evidently Quilted Northern 3Ply toilet tissue "plush" conducted a study designed to support the concept of ‚Why Women Need Plush.‛This thoughtful leadership study was designed to engage consumers in a dialogue that moves beyond toilet tissue to a conversation about everyday behaviors and social experiences..... Social experiences? in the bathroom? To many men this concept is odd, get in do your business, and get out. No chatter, no shame, just get your work done. But for women this just simply isn't the case; the study claiming that their women needed plush, because the soft supple quilted paper will solve all your bathroom woes equaled their discovery of, and I quote "For women, public restroom use is a big burden; making most feel unclean, rushed, or repulsed." No Joke? Really? Let's get real.... what about all those unspoken rules we don't talk about?

Recently I had a conversation with my husband regarding the crazy social "woman" etiquette plagued in Women's bathrooms.... the unspoken rules if you will.

The Ladies' public bathroom rules to live by but no one tells you:

1. You can never fart, unless it's silent and there is more than one other person in the bathroom with you, so no one will know it was you.
2. If you are alone in the bathroom and someone walks in, you must cease what you are doing until they leave, unless you are just peeing. If you're desperate, squeeze in a bit of action between the flushes.
3. If you begin peeing at the same time as the person next to you and you have to pee a long time, then you should try to break it up, cause otherwise the person next you thinks, wow she really had to pee.
4. Public groans are never ok.
5. If you forgot to check for toilet tissue before entering the stall, the person next to you will judge you.
5. It's only ok to talk to people if one, you walked in with friends and you were already talking, and two, if there is a long line and you want to whine about the line.
6. You must help any unattended child in the bathroom who cannot figure out how to lock the door, reach the faucet, soap or towels. Then when you're done helping them see them out of the restroom and wonder what jerk let such a little kid in there alone?
7. And lastly, if something goes wrong in the public toilet, wait for an opening, and exit the stall quickly and pretend nothing ever happened.


Why in the world do we do this to ourselves? And who told us this, I don't ever remember being specifically told you are not allowed to make any smells in the bathroom. When I share this list with my friends... they all laugh and say oh my you completely nailed it..... I ask why are things so different for men than women? Are we so worried people might not like us cause our farts smell? The best explanation anyone has come up with is, I think it started in the cave... let's face it... everything started in the cave. When in doubt blame it on the cave.

My opinion, the plushest of all toilet paper won't change this reality for women; sometimes the bathroom smells and sometimes people will know you're in there.. pooping.

I vote a new ad campaign:

That's all, there is to say about that.